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At some point in our lives, all of us will experience loss or tragedy. Most of us aren't very good at dealing with pain: we don't really want to turn lemons into lemonade. We don't believe we can, either. We endure misfortune with greater or fewer degress of stoicism.

Click here to listen to Dr Russ Harris's 'Tune Your Engine' interview with Jim Mora on Radio New Zealand National, discussing his new book The Reality Slap: How to find fulfilment when life hurts.